Things we did in 2009

So, the year is almost over and I'm off to Mexico for a month. There's you not getting pissed on shitty Tesco own brand lager that your step dad hid in the garage, whilst I'm out adventuring in some Mayan ruin with my Zezaurian cap soaking up the heat. Hard luck.

But don't fret - I've left you with a bunch of really, really bad pictures of people you probably don't know doing things you don't care about. Behold! Our year in shitty pictures:

Watch the skies

Hello doinks. If you are familiar with some of our Zezaurian theories, you will be aware that all of the emotional turmoil in the universe is caused by an evil cosmic eagle that stalks the skies in search of feeble minded morons such as myself to torment and cause untold misery. I have explained this theory to many of my friends, colleagues and just about anyone else who will listen but my wisdom invariably falls on deaf ears.

Well, now I have proof. My good friend Professor Peelhead who is currently seeking his fortune in China stumbled upon the sadistic bastard while out metal detecting, and managed to get this amazing shot of a guy who was blubbering because his boyfriend dumped him or something. Now I have irrefutable evidence that my theory is correct, I shall wait eagerly for those Nobel prize bozos to get in touch. So long, rat race!

Peace and quiet, please.

For fuck's sake! every evening when I get home from a hard day of toil, anticipating a relaxing night with a couple of episodes of the X-Files, I'm faced with these idiots slouched all over my bed like dead bumblebees. I don't how they get into my flat, but I'm really sick of it. What's a man got to do to get a bit of peace?