Zezaurian Chess Club ends in character assassination

A late September afternoon, glorious sunshine permeates the air making the world feel like a splendid place to inhabit. The ceaseless throngs of donks and doinks flowing along the concrete like a river of shit and sin mean nothing. Bumper to bumper traffic commanded by irate goits honking their horns at the slightest provocation cause no grievance in my soul. I am meditative. Today is chess day. Nothing must disturb my inner solace. Captain Drib Drab is running late as usual. I begin to clench my jaw as the seconds tick by mockingly. After the passing of several epochs, Drib Drab decides to grace me with his presence.

Something felt wrong from the moment I clapped eyes on him. Sweating heavily from his ten metre bicycle ride, there was a look in those beady black eyes of his I have never encountered before or since. They hid secrets better left unspoken. His grey pallor had reached a new level. I was convinced he was consumptive but kept it to myself.

After the exchange of greetings and superfluous chit-chat we made a beeline for the nearest dump with a free table that could accommodate a chess board.

Conversation wasn't flowing as it normally does between Drib Drab and I, and I was beginning to get suspicious. Nevertheless, we had chess to play, and I had Guinness to drink. Drib Drab stuck to water which was rather puzzling since he's a raging alcoholic. Anyhow, the board was set and battle commenced.

I will spare you the intimate details of the bloody sacrifices and foolish manoeuvres the games entailed. What I will say though, is that that pale faced smug bastard had been doing his homework on the old Chessmaster 8000000. He beat me twice in row. I felt like attaching his balls to his forehead with a rivet gun, but alas I am not a violent man. I had to exert my revenge in a more psychological way.

After much coercion I extracted the reason for his out of the ordinary behaviour and sinister gait. He told all about the bad, bad things that he had done only days earlier, perhaps expecting an understanding ear. Well, I wasn't in the mood to be understanding.

I won't go into any more detail on this matter and Drib Drab's questionable social exploits shall remain in the dark depths of his conscience. He may have won the chess, but I won the war.

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