Zezaurian online dating secures zero responses

Poor old Drib Drab. He was never very good with women.

If you're single and would like a date with DD, send saucy pictures of yourself to young.hentaiprincess102@snotmail.com


Zezaurian summer in 12 shit pictures

Behold! a bunch of terrible pictures we took during our summer holiday. I think my favourite incident this summer was watching an old lady fall out of the back of a car, but I didn't have my camera with me so you'll just have to close your eyes and laugh at that one using your Mind's Eye.


Please, could you get any more pathetic? "Oooh, I'm so old and tired! Oooh, won't you give me a help up?" You should be on fire.
I'm 30 in a few weeks and one thing I've noticed about getting old is that you care a lot less about your outfit and a lot more about making things easier for yourself. I like having my camera on my belt; it's practical.
I like how Wess has his big fat Ph.D., but Bill, still living with his mother, just has 42 regrettable years accumulating dork knowledge and a chronic addition to hentai.
Nice shoes, dickface. Do they make them for men?
This is what happens when you get old; your skin falls off and you do really lame things, like write a blog about it.
 On further consideration, you do look about fifteen -- which I'm not sure is good or bad.
Nice. Eight old people had to die just so you could sit down. 
It was still better than 'Avatar'.

I think the best part of this is that he's not even high.
There is something immensely satisfying about pissing on to someone else's turd. It's the way you can break it apart and make it roll in the water like a dying whale. I think it harks back to our hunting days or something.
Hitting women always turns out amazing in photos.


Abortion Clinic: the best band that never existed

A few years ago I started a scream-core band called Abortion Clinic, which is the best name for any band ever. Try now to think of a better name. You can't, partly because you're a dolt, but mostly because it's unbeatable. Unfortunately I can't play any instruments, so we didn't even get to the practice stage, but I did just stumble upon some sample lyrics I had stored in my 'awful and embarrassing ideas' folder. Here, immortalised forever on a blog that three people read, the political venom of the greatest band to never have existed. 


Blood on your thighs
Lies lies lies.

A pain in your cunt
But what do you want?

Vacuum it out!
Vacuum it out!

Twisting metal of destruction
Crushing bones of hate
Three weeks with no bleeding
Your period was too late

Now you have

Blood on your thighs
Lies lies lies

Blood on your thighs
Lies lies lies

Forceps of evil
Clamp open your womb
Of death!

Of death!

Of Death!

Mutant Twins of pain
Rip open your womb

Fists punch through into light
Put up the fight!

Blood on your thighs
Lies lies lies

Blood on your thighs
Lies lies lies


I know. I'm wasted working in retail.