Chinese Love

A small excerpt from the latest piece of correspondence received from Professor Peelhead, who is presently seeking his fortune in China…

what is my news, well in my desperation of not having a girlfriend I decided to go with a prostitute, so off i went on my bicycle in search of love for money, down the alleys and back alleys i went, spotting mimgers left and right, then i saw one i thought was not too bad, for the grand sum of three pounds i stripped off into my finest, she then proceeded to snot on my shoes, she fired a bogey-flob out of her nose from a standing position onto the floor in the direction of my shoes - I daren't think or check, it put me off my game completely, after the rise and fall in an anti-climatic failure, and three pounds lighter I looked for further ado, I found , I negotiated, I was ready, this one , not to be outdone, told me to go over to the bed, then proceeded to take a piss in a kitchen bowl, which she put on a shelf , and then proceeded, for seven pounds i got a floppy f-ck and a wank, but look on the bright side - we all had a cheap evenings entertainment, actually it wasn't cheap, when i got home i found i had lost 20 quid, which in my little dumpling restaurant is 66 portions of bloody dumplings.

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