So, a new member falls for the mystical allure of Zezaurianism. His name is Tom Bo and according to his mother he is a 'traveller.' Not like a gypsy, but more like a crusty. He's just rowed his way back from the other side of the world or something with a massive beard and tons of stories about sharing a hostel with A-Level gap year students that no one wants to hear. During an "intense" inauguration, Tom received his Zezaurian cap and was then forced to head bang to metal for seven hours. I asked him some questions about why he wanted to join.
Captain Drib Drab: So, why the Zezaurians?
Tom Bo: I thought it was a cult. You all act funny like you're in a cult. However, because I'm an enlightened chap I saw something else in there. I think it was all the free Guinness you guys bought to the party.
CDD: You know, we don't actually let any old drip into the Zezaurian Society.
TB: I got that. But once you teach a new member about the basic premise, it's hard not to say no to it. There are some etiquette rules I had to pick up on and you made me read that fucking manifesto five times. But I apparently had enough artistic baggage to offer, so I was officially welcomed as the newest member.
CDD: We're thrilled.
TB: Is that sarcasm?
CDD: Yes, a little bit. How was the party? I fell to sleep during the Hip Hop bit. I think I danced too hard.
TB: I think I missed that bit too. But the party was cool. My admittance was celebrated with this weird mass hysteria and a disregard for everything. I actually started to get freaked out after a while. And how fucking loud does that stereo go? You guys were blasting it through open windows, throwing stuff into the street, burning things. Your poor neighbours. Then you started shouting stuff about infinity and anomalies. I didn't know if that was about the nature of the cosmos or about women or what.
CDD: It was women, I think. Do you like that hat? You look pretty handsome in it.
TB: Yeah. The ceremonial donning of the Zezaurian headwear gave the assembly its official status. You all took that shit really seriously, despite all your hats being women’s sizes. my head's way too massive for this thing. I look like an ugly air stewardess. And I like the way all the elders changed into tribal vests to perform a ritualistic dance that looked a lot like air guitaring to shit metal to me. There was definitely a sense of potential greatness in the air though. I think. That or groin sweat.
CDD: I'll have to type this up, so can you just say one last thing without boring us about travelling through Asia again?
TB: Yeah: for a man who has travelled around the world for almost a year, met many, many people, perceived a wide scope of different cultures and groups, walked through jungles and deserts, swam in Mother Earth's rivers, seas and lakes, climbed mountains and had sex with a deaf Thai girl, nothing could quite compare to the feeling that what I was embracing in this small room with people of immense intellectual stature was nothing short of amazing.
CDD: That was sarcasm, wasn't it?
TB: Do you think?